A Key To My Cold Heart
by bluedragon03
Summary: A one-shot SesshomaruxRin romance, (grown up Rin). This story describes Sesshomaru's and Rin's relationship from the time that they meet, until Rin is grown. Told from Sesshomaru's perspective, he describes how he slowly grew to love the child, and then the woman, Rin, in another way, foreign to him. Originally written for Inuvember 2014, but was too long to post on tumblr.


***A/N- Hey guys, I'd like to thank you for clicking on my story. Also, I'd like to say that before I wrote this for Inuvember, I didn't ship SessxRin romantically (grown up Rin that is) But the story just sort of took that turn, and I turned into a Shipper. I made myself into a SessXRin shipper by accident. Which is weird. **

**I don't own Inuyasha. **

When the girl first showed herself to me, I tried to scare her away, but she didn't stay away. She kept returning with food and water, a useless sentiment, as I had no need such things. Such a peculiar act of what the humans called kindness, doing those things for a stranger, a demon no less. What the humans called kindness I call weakness though. I scorned her each time she came, with offerings of food, until she came bearing a leaf, with five measly stalks of grain, and multiple bruises.

She smiled when I asked her what was wrong, like I had done her some great service, or like we were old friends. I made it clear to her that I didn't care, but still she seemed happy.

I didn't realize I had learned her scent until I recognized it while abusing Jaken. The smell of her blood drew me to her like a magnet. I wasn't completely surprised to find her laying dead, but what intrigued me was the smell of wolves that covered her corpse.

Tenseiga pulsed, letting me know that she desired to be drawn. I obliged, and tenseiga showed me the guardians of the underworld, preparing take the girls soul. I did what I do best then, I killed them. I sheathed Tenseiga and knelt next to the girl.

I lifted her into my arm, and waited. I didn't have to wait for long, she stirred almost instantly. I set her gently on her small feet, and then I turned around and left, leaving Jaken gaping at the revived human child.

It was a while before I realized she was following after me, not until I glanced behind me to see _who on earth _Jaken was talking to. I was shocked to see her there, following silently behind me, and for the next few days, before she became comfortable enough to speak to Jaken, every time I looked back, a part of me was surprised to see her there, trudging along faithfully, never speaking. It wasn't until I noticed her cheeks becoming hollowed and pailer that I remembered human children needed more than just a few berries from bushes along the road to survive.

I ordered Jaken to get her food, but it was he who caught all the fish. I leaned against a tree as she caught the fish and cooked them over a fire. It was strange how she had to heat the things before eating them. It was then, after eating three small fish without stopping, that she gave her name.

"Rin" she said simply, I understood at once, being a man of few words myself. That, however, was the first and only time that Rin ever used words. She would prattle on for hours, talking complete nonsense, on and on and on. It drove Jaken mad, but I didn't mind. It was. . . _nice_. . . to have the constant silence filled by something that wasn't Jaken's incessant yammering.

My favorite thing was when she sang. Her young voice singing songs about cows and utensils that the humans used somehow reminded me of the time I had spent with Father as a child, of course I never did anything as ludicrous as sing in my life, ever. I had to tell Jaken to be quite often when he was scolding the girl, but I never told him that I actually enjoyed her singing. I rarely told her to be quiet, unless I had to think about something.

Eventually, when it got colder, I heard her teeth chattering at night, and realized that her kimono was riddled with holes and threadbare. So late one night, when she was curled up next to the fire sleeping, I instructed Jaken to protect her while I obtained new clothes for her. There is a demon, who lives in my territory in the west, that makes clothing of the finest sort. This Sesshomaru will not stoop so low as to haggle at a human market, so I requested a small kimono for Rin.

The seamstress gave me a strange look, and asked if I had found a female demon and started a family, but I didn't answer. I told her she had three hours, and then left. I spent that night patrolling the area, and considering my options. Of course it would be imprudent to have her follow me indefinitely, but what would I do with her?

I couldn't leave her to fend for herself in the woods, a demon would kill her at once. I could leave her with a human in a village, but then she would just end up being treated as badly as she had been before. I saw no other option but to keep her with me and protect her until something could be done. Also there was the inconvenience to be dealt with of having to stop for 8 hours every night so Rin could sleep.

As much as she talked, she never complained, and she would often walk until she collapsed from exhaustion. Jaken was too small to carry her, and the Sesshomaru would never be caught dead toting around a human girl like that _mut _Inuyasha, so we stopped and allowed her to rest. This problem was easily solved, however, I merely summoned my demon steed, Ah-Uhn, and the girl rode on it's back while she slept.

This was a very good idea, as I could trust Ah-Uhn to protect her when I required Jaken's assistance, but didn't want a human child getting in the way. However, the steed almost lost it's life for failing to protect the girl adequately. I was returning to them after a mission, to hear her scream. I rushed to see what was the matter, to find Ah-Uhn battling demons above while Rin fell to her death.

Afterwards she assured me the beast was not at fault, and thus it got to keep it's life. Ah-Uhn was too convenient to slay without good reason.

It was stupid, nearsighted of me not to think that my enemies would target the girl to try and throw me off. However, they over estimated my affections for the girl. I fought as effectively as ever. She was merely a follower, not even to be called a companion. However, those who endangered her safety had to die immediately. She was in danger countless times because of me, but she never complained, she never tried to run away. She never even looked that afraid when he came to rescue her, she would just smile and say, "Lord Sesshomaru, I knew you'd come and rescue me!" She never doubted my power, and she never doubted I would rescue her before a single hair on her head was harmed.

When the demon slayer Kohaku told me she wasn't breathing, was when I really realized how important she was to me. My cold heart stopped, my heart that hadn't been reached by anything other than anger and apathy in living memory. I felt this strange emotion bubble up inside of me, that made it difficult to breathe. Still though, I didn't lose my head, I trusted my otherwise useless sword to save her for me once again. But it didn't. I knelt down and lifted her, holding her small body to my chest, feeling her grow colder by the instant. Never in my life has this Sesshomaru been so pathetic as when that small human child lay lifeless in my arms.

I almost stooped to the level of crying. Of performing that pathetic human act of shedding tears, which had been unthinkable for my entire existence. If anyone would have told me that I would one day shed tears, and for a human child no less, I would have killed them. But there I was, on the ground, cradling the corpse of the girl I hadn't realized had become dear to me, on the brink of the unthinkable.

It was her death that inspired me to reach the full potential of Tenseiga. My desire to leave the place where the girl I had unknowingly treasured died unlocked the power within me, but it was meaningless. Nothing could have been worth it, nothing could have been worth the cost of her life. I returned to our world, somehow less than I had returned it. Mother congratulated me on my triumph, saying that the cost had been little.

Foolish woman. The cost had been greater than anything I could have imagined. She didn't understand that I had lost a part of myself.

Jaken's tears, though justified, were irritating, but I couldn't tell him to be quiet. I couldn't speak, my throat had closed itself with grief, and I hadn't the ability to voice my thoughts. I had no idea that the girl had been important to the imp too, but I had no idea of a lot of things, it seemed. The world seemed to disappear around me, all that I could focus on was the void in my life, that had been filled by Rin before I had even realized it was there.

Mother asked Jaken why he was crying, wasn't it obvious? What a stupid woman, even I understood that much. However his answer surprised me. He replied that it was in my very nature not to cry, so he had to shed tears for me. He wasn't wrong. Even though I couldn't breathe for the, there was no other word for it, sadness, I had not shed a single tear. Mother looked at me strangely then, and asked if that was the truth. I wouldn't, or couldn't, answer her.

However she seemed to take my silence as assent. I watched as she removed the necklace my father had given her, and placed it around Rin's neck, with the warning that this would be Rin's last chance. As Rin took a breath in, I felt a flood of relief wash over me. Before I knew what I was doing I sat down next to her, and placed my hand gently on her cheek. I said, more to myself then her, "Don't worry, you're safe know."

I don't believe that this Sesshomaru ever had felt joy before that moment. I listened as my mother explained to me that Tenseiga could only recall someone from the world of the dead once, and that was it. Armed with that knowledge I knew I would have to be much more careful, and be sure to protect her better in the future.

After the final battle, and that woman that Inuyasha was so fixated on disappeared, the old miko told me to leave Rin with her. She would have died instantly, if it hadn't been for the incident with my mother. In my heart I knew that it wasn't safe for Rin to stay with me. But that wasn't what she said. She told me Rin needed to practice living with humans for a while, and then when she got old enough, she could decide how she wanted to live. Part of me wanted to say no, that she would stay with me. I was afraid that in the care of humans, who I could tell would take good care of her, unlike the scum who abused her, that she would choose to stay with them, that she was tired of dying and almost dying again. Eventually I agreed, when the woman said I was welcome in the village anytime to visit Rin. As if they could have kept me away.

Never before had Rin disobeyed one of my orders, or refused to do something I asked. When I told her the arrangement I had made, I was shocked when she refused. "No." She said simply. At first I didn't know how to react. She had never defied me before. It took a moment for this Sesshomaru to think of a reply to such a blatantly childish refusal.

"Yes," was all I managed. "You will do as I say Rin," I commanded when she looked unimpressed at my reply. What happened next was quite possibly one of the worst things I have ever experienced. She cried. Loudly. She cried and kicked and screamed, and made such a scene the the villagers stared. I glared at them, but they weren't afraid of me. My fool of a brother had them thinking they needn't be afraid of demons like us. I would have taught them otherwise if Rin wasn't clinging to my robes, sobbing loudly. I heard a snicker, and I turned to see that filthy hanyou, laughing at me.

I growled at him. I was at my wits end, and I was on the brink of transforming to teach him a lesson, when that scum had the nerve to take pity on _me. _He stepped forward and detached Rin from my robes. She let out this hideous shriek, and kicked punched and bit every part of Inuyasha she could reach. _That _part wasn't necessarily _so _bad. I actually quite enjoyed it. Inuyasha just let her hit him, only growling when I snorted because Rin bit his hand, very hard, and he shouted.

"There you go," He said, "let it out." I was surprised by his patience with her, he never got angry when she pulled his hair, or those stupid ears of his. "Come on now," he said gently as she attacked his face with her rather long fingernails. I had never noticed before what terrible shape they were in, "there's no need to pitch such a fit over someone like Sesshomaru," he said. I scowled at him, but he ignored me.

"Shut up!" She cried. "How would you know, you've always hated him!"

"Well you got me there," he admitted, his eyes flicking to me evilly, and for a moment I regretted every terrible thing I had ever done to him, everything he might tell Rin to convince her that I wasn't worth crying over. However the moment passed, and Inuyasha didn't tell her about all the times I tried to kill him, just for the crime of his mother being human.

Apparently in this town Inuyasha was well respected, because at a look from him the villagers dispersed, leaving only Inuyasha, Rin, and I.

"My, uh, Big Brother and I have never really gotten along, so I don't get what all this fuss is about." By now Rin had worn herself out, and stopped kicking and screaming. She just hung from his hands, sniffling. Inuyasha, who had been holding her at arms length, pulled her closer so she could sit on his hip. "Are you going to miss sleeping outside in the cold and rain so much? Is that it? If that's the case then you can sleep outside with me," I growled at him, to let him know Rin was NOT allowed to sleep in the cold.

"I never slept in the rain!" She whimpered. Inuyasha chuckled.

"Oh, so it must the air of danger that you miss! What is _not _being kidnapped once a week not good enough for you?" I growled again. Inuyasha made it sound like I was a complete idiot. It sounded to me like he was confusing Rin and _his _woman.

"I wasn't kidnapped that often," she informed him, and he actually laughed out loud.

"Oh, okay, it was the almost dying then!" He said, and it became clear to me he was teasing her now.

"I don't care about all that stuff!" She cried, surprising me, "I don't care if I die! I want to be with Lord Sesshomaru." Inuyasha's face softened, and his eyes looked far away.

"Is that so," he said, his voice trailed away.

"Mmhm!" She nodded her head vigorously. Inuyasha smiled. He looked at me, but I didn't return his grin.

"You know, have I ever told you that you remind me a lot of Kagome?" He said, and that surprised me.

"Where is she! I want to talk to her! She'll understand, because she hangs around with you!" Inuyasha's smile faltered, and he looked rather uncomfortable now.

"She, uh, went home," Inuyasha gulped, "To a place where I can't go." The pain on his face was evident, even to me, an Rin noticed.

"When will she be back?" Rin asked gently.

"I don't think she'll be back, Rin. I think she's going to stay where she's at forever." Rin placed a hand on Inuyasha's shoulder.

"I'm sorry I bit you," she said. He smiled weakly at her.

"That's alright. You're little fist is nothing compared to what Kagome used to do when she was mad."

"If I stay, will you tell me about her? I think I would have liked her." I realized that she was trying to comfort Inuyasha, and I felt a surge of something akin to pride.

"Yah," Inuyasha nodded, "Yeah, I think you would have." Rin hugged his neck, then asked to be let down. Inuyasha obliged, and she walked over to me.

"Promise me you won't forget about me, that you'll come and visit a lot." I nodded. She reached out and hugged me around the middle, which was the highest that she could reach on me. I looked at her, before Inuyasha cleared his throat to get my attention. I looked at him and he made an arm motion, trying to tell me to hug her back. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her back. She hugged me for what seemed like an eternity before she stepped back, and looked at me, her eyes filled with tears again.

"Remember, you promised," She said. "Goodbye, Lord Sesshomaru, I'll see you soon." She turned and walked to Inuyasha and took his hand. I stood there watching as they walked away together, and Rin asked if there were other children for her to play with in the village. Inuyasha nodded at him, and I nodded back. When they were just about to be out of sight, Rin turned around and waved at me. I lifted my hand slowly and waved back before she turned around and disappeared from my sight.

I visited her at least once a month, always bringing a gift for her. Those few years I spent waiting on her to become old enough to make her decision were the loneliest of my life. Each time I visited her she had a long list of exciting things to tell me about human life. What she was learning from Kaede, what her favorite games were to play with the other children, and how the monk and demon slayers children were getting on. It was obvious she was enjoying life in the village, and I was afraid she would decide to stay there, but I never asked her about it.

Each time I visited she was taller. By the time that Inuyasha's woman reappeared her head reached my waist, and by the time their first child was born her head reached my chest. When Inuyasha and Kagome celebrated their third child, she was tall enough to hug my neck, and at last it was almost time for her to decide.

One day I came to deliver a necklace that my mother gave me for her, and she ran out to meet me. Her long legs carried her to me quickly, with her long hair flowing out behind her. She had grown so much. She flung herself at me, slamming into my chest. She stood on the tips of her toes and breathed excitedly in my ear.

"Kaede says I'm old enough to choose now." My heart stopped in my chest, gripped by fear. She took me by the hand and said, "Come on, Master Jaken, you come too."

She pulled me into the hut where Kaede lived with her, and she grinned at me as she pulled aside the curtain to the door. There was a flash of light and a boom of noise, and I jumped for my sword, but grabbed my arm. Her reflexes were good, not many people would be able to stop me. "It's okay," she said.

"See, Rin," The Half-Breed's voice said, "I told you a surprise party wasn't a good idea," Inuyasha said. I looked at him, he had a child attached to each leg, and one in his arms. His wife whose belly was swollen yet again, was holding the young kitsune. She smiled at me, and I nodded at her. Though I never would have admitted it, I rather liked this woman. She and Rin were similar in a way, and I could not deny her power as a miko. She would be a worthy opponent. Maybe one day, if I ever ran into her when she _wasn't _pregnant, we could spar.

I looked at Rin, and she smiled. "It's a going away party," she said, "I want to stay with you." I nodded, unable to think of what to say. Just then one of the children on Inuyasha's legs let go and began to toddle around. He was obviously just learning to walk. I moved further into the room, feeling very uncomfortable. Everyone was talking and having a good time, not really paying attention to the child. I watched as he walked around, trying to decide who he wanted to hold him. His mothers arms were filled, and he apparently wasn't in the mood to be held by the monk or the demon slayer. He looked at me and giggled.

"Fluffy," he said, and Rin chuckled. She kept trying to include me in her conversation with the demon slayer, but I wasn't interested in talking to them. I watched him toddle around, bumping into things, when he spotted the fire. I had a bad feeling about that. There was stew cooking, and he obviously smelled it. He approached the fire, reaching out to grab the pot, I waited for his parents to notice him, but Inuyasha was busy trying to break up the squabble between the one that had climbed on top of his head, and the one he was holding in his arms. The miko was laughing at him, deciding that it was funnier to let him suffer than to offer aid.

As the child grew closer to the fire I considered telling Rin to retrieve him, but he put on a sudden burst of speed that he no doubt inherited from his father. He tripped and was about to fall face first into the fire when I acted. I dodged around Rin and dove down, catching him. I picked the child up, not trusting him to roam unsupervised.

"Foolish child, fire burns careless children." My sudden movement and declaration caught everyones attention. Inuyasha's and Kagome's eyes flicked between their child and I and the fire. Kagome put the pieces together first and cried out.

"Tashy! What have we told you about the fire!" She set the kitsune down and reached out to take him. He grabbed my hair and screamed. Kagome paled and drew her hands back. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw Inuyasha hand his children to the monk and put his hand on his sword.

"I'm really sorry about this, Sesshomaru, but you know Tashy is just a child. Thank you for saving him, by the way." She looked anxious, and I realized she expected me to harm the child.

"Tashy?" I asked, unable to help myself.

"It's a nickname," Kagome replied. I realized that I had never bothered to learn the names of my nieces and nephews.

"What does it stand for," I asked. Now that his mother had stopped trying to take the child, he was quiet.

"His full name is Inu No Taisho," she said. I blinked in surprise and looked down in the child in my arms, that had been named after my father. He had our golden eyes and silver hair, but his father's ears. He looked a bit like father.

"What about the others?" I asked, looking over to where the monk held my nieces protectively. Kagome let out a sigh of relief.

"The one with dark hair and Inuyasha's ears is called Izayoi, and the one with pointy ears and silver hair is Yuka, she's named after one of my friends back home." I looked at them. Unlike the one in my arms, who most strongly resembled his father, Inuyasha's two daughters were blends of their parents. One of them had their mothers hair but their fathers complexion and eyes, and the other had their fathers hair, but her mothers eyes and complexion.

"Mommy, who's holding Tashy?" Izayoi asked. She was the oldest, a few years younger than Rin had been when I first met her. Her sister was about two years younger than that. The son was the youngest.

"It's Daddy's big brother, Uncle Sesshomaru."

"Will Uncle Sesshy hold me too?" Everyone looked at me, and unsure of what else to do, I growled softly. The baby in my arms giggled and tried to replicate the sound, but failed, which he thought to be hilarious, and he giggled even more.

"Umm, I don't think that's a good idea, Izzy."

"But Uncle Sesshy is holding Tashy!" Rin sighed exasperatedly.

"Izzy, come here." Rin stepped forward and lifted the girl into her arms, and walked back to me. "You've got two arms, and have for a while now, so you can hold two kids, here." A nervous chuckle echoed around the room as everyone watched to see what I would do, but when I didn't react immediately, Rin pushed the child into my arms. She wrapped her arms around my neck, so I had no choice but to hold her. I looked at Rin angrily, but she either didn't notice or didn't care.

"Now that's not so bad is it?" She asked, taking Yuka in her arms. I growled loudly, Rin was _not _about to give me a third child to hold, and if I was honest with myself I was still a little upset about the arm joke. She came at me with the third child, and I stepped back, growling.

"Maybe we shouldn't overwhelm him with new family Rin," Kagome said, stepping in front of me.

"If you say so! But he's never even held his nieces and nephews before, and after we leave today, I don't know how long it will be before we come back for a visit."

"You're leaving?" Izayoi asked, "I don't want you to!" She began crying into my shoulder loudly.

"Rin, get this child!" I said, finally breaking. She approached me, and instead of relieving me of one of my burdens, she swapped. Now I had a new child in my arms, who was tugging at my ears. I growled loudly.

"Inuyasha get your pups off of me!" I said, as "Tashy" began pulling my hair. Inuyasha, however, was doubled over laughing at the sight of his son trying to eat my hair now. Kagome and the demon slayer rushed forward, each grabbing a child, and shooting Inuyasha dirty looks.

I fled the hut, afraid next one of the demon slayers children would decide to ride on my fur or something like that. Jaken tried to follow me out, but the twins had other plans. They decided they wanted to play with him. I briefly considered leaving him here, but that would mean leaving Rin also. The old woman followed me out, and I thought she was going to warn me to keep Rin safe, as if I needed telling to do that, but she didn't.

"I must say, Izzy and Tashy are rather fond of you, perhaps you would consider taking up permanent residence in the village to watch your brothers children grow?"

"This Sesshomaru would never-" I began, but I realized she was teasing me. How dare she, this decrepit old woman mock me, the great Sesshomaru? She informed me in her next sentence.

"I must say, after watching you allow your hair to be eaten by your brother's pups I find it hard to believe you are the same Sesshomaru I knew back then, before all of this happened. I was quite shocked to hear that you had taken in a human girl." I didn't reply. She waited for a while and then went back into the house. I heard Rin scolding the twins for playing with the staff of two heads a moment before she came out of the hut and handed it to me.

"Here, the girls are bigger than Jaken, so he can't keep it away from them." I took it from her. "Supper is almost ready," she said, "You should come back in soon, it's almost bedtime for the kids, so you won't have to worry about them after a while."

Rin insisted on staying the whole night, talking with her friends. It was late in the night before she began to say goodbyes, and then it was another hour while she exchanged alternately tearful and excited goodbyes with all of them. When she finally really was ready to go, I summoned Ah-Uhn, and took flight.

It felt as if I had been reborn. Having my Rin with me once again, her beautiful voice filling the silence, was wonderful. The whole time while she was away, a part of me was missing. It was in that accursed village with his disgrace of a half brother. Leaving her under his protection made my blood boil. Why did he get to enjoy her presence when I was left alone with Jaken? But none of that mattered anymore, because she was back, and I was whole again. She insisted on going back to the village from time to time, and occasionally she even made me come with her. she claimed that I needed to be more involved in my families life, that my neices and nephew needed their uncle. I only went to make her happy, because she got quiet when she was upset with me, and then it was like she was gone all over again.

After I lost her in the meido, and being separated from her for so long, I was even more fiercely protective of her. I realized this when I almost disemboweled a man for catcalling at her. Rin stopped me, of course, she couldn't stand the thought of me hurting humans. I think that she realized this earlier than I did, however, because, after I killed a man who grabbed her, she didn't speak to me for a week, and the first thing she said to me after that was that I needed to calm down. She loved going to them, even though people were terrified of both myself and her, she would always get this huge smile on her face.

She would hover over the jewelry stalls, and kimono stalls, but she rarely asked for anything, she just liked to look. Once I offered to buy her shoes, after the merchant pointed out her bare feet, but she gave me this horrified look and said, "Why would I want to wear shoes?" I didn't understand her disgust with the things, but, if she didn't want to wear shoes, then I wasn't going to make her. I never would have admitted it, but I secretly enjoyed going into the markets with her. It was the time I got to spend alone with her. We had learned early on, that Jaken and Ah-Uhn's blatantly demon appearance frightened the villagers far more than my pale hair and demon markings, so we left them outside of the village, waiting on us.

It wasn't until the time that I went on a dangerous mission to vanquish a demon that had been infringing on the borders of my land, only to find the demon wasn't there, and returned to find Jaken unconscious, and Rin missing, that I realized. I tracked her scent to the source, and found her held captive, tied to an unstable bridge, being guarded by the demon I had been looking for, as well as his brothers. She shouted when she saw me, and the demon sliced one of the cords holding up the bridge. It swung away from the cliff, now only being held in place by one fraying rope. She screamed, terrified, and my vision went red. To this day I don't fully remember what happened, just the agonized screams of the demons foolish enough to try and hurt Rin, and vaguely I recall Rin shouting for me to stop. She tells me that I was playing with them, making them pay for their crimes. They had intended to hold Rin for ransom, they wanted This Sesshomaru to give them my lands in exchange for her life.

The next thing I remember was waking up on a ledge in the chasm, holding Rin tightly to my chest. I can remember thinking that she was so afraid that she was shaking, and then realizing it was myself that was shaking. She was stroking my hair soothingly, and speaking in low tones in my ear, telling me to calm down, that she was alright. It was a long time before I was able to force myself to release her, but before then, I recognised something. Some of my actions resembled those of Inuyasha whenever the girl who was to become his wife was in danger. His rashness and uncontrollable anger were due to the fact that the woman he loved was in danger. As soon as I had this realization, however, I pushed it away. I _refused _to be like father, to love a mortal girl. A voice in the back of my head told me it was too late for such promises, but I ignored that as well.

I continued to ignore my realization for a while, telling myself the joy I felt at hearing her voice was just because I had missed her so badly while she was away. That the sight of her sleeping peacefully, or humming merrily as she picked flowers _didn't _simultaneously make my heart pound, and put me at ease. It was a simple, stupid thing really, that broke my resolve. One day, she had disappeared without saying anything, which agitated me. I knew she wasn't in danger, because the only smells that were in the forest around us were forest animals, but her being away from me made me anxious. Jaken and I waited on her for ages, and just when I was about to go and find her, she came running into the clearing, cradling something in her arms. _Puppies, _just born. I was wondering what on earth had possessed her to bring me these dogs when she tripped on a root just in front of me, and began to fall.

Without even having to think about it, I caught her before she hit the ground. She looked up at me, breathless and grinning, with some dirt smudged on her face, and I lost control of my body. Without my permission, one of my arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer to me, and the other slid into her soft hair, and pulled her face closer to mine. My head, also without my consent, leaned down, and pressed my lips to hers. I heard her intake of breath, and Jaken's gasp of shock, but I didn't care. I could hear her heartbeat pounding, and smell the pups in her arms, but what I was focused on was what I was feeling.

I could feel the pups wriggling in her arms, probably responding to my scent, which would have been familiar enough to them. I could feel them finding wrinkles and folds in my robes and climbing into them to get closer to me and my scent. But I didn't care about those, because I could feel Rin leaning into me, I could feel her beginning to kiss me back, and I could feel her reaching up with her free arms reaching up and tangling itself in my hair. I could feel a strange warmth spreading from my middle to the rest of my body. I don't know how much time passed, but eventually she pulled away from me, and looked up at me, with an unreadable expression on her face. It might've been confusion, mixed with something else, but her face broke into a large smile, and she glanced around, giggling at the look on Jaken's face. Just then one of the pups whimpered loudly, drawing Rin's attention.

She looked confused at first, that she now only held one of four pups, but she giggled again when she looked at my robes. I looked down at them two and was half surprised to see the pups curled up in the folds of the robes. As one of them opened their mouth wide and yawned, Rin completely lost it, and she began laughing loudly. "It's like they think you're their Mommy!" She choked out. I growled softly, but she just laughed harder at that. Then, I couldn't help it, I smiled too. Her voice was so wonderful, and her laugh brought me such joy. Not to mention what had just happened, which still had my heart pounding and my head swimming.

"Rin, why did you bring these animals?" I asked, trying to shake off the haze that had settled in my head.

"Well I was picking wildflowers, and I heard them whimpering, and I thought that they were hurt, but I realized that they were starving to death, because their mother was dead, it looked like it's been a while, I mean look at them!" She held up the only pup which hadn't climbed into my robes, which was, at the moment, my favorite. However, it looked horrible. It's ribs and hip bones were prominent, and patches of it's fur were falling out. "I couldn't just leave them there!" I raised a hand to end its life, and put it out of its misery, but Rin understood my intention, and squealed.

"No! You can't!" She turned away from me, shielding it from my view. "You can't just kill them without giving them a chance!"

"Rin, it's half dead already," I said, reaching for one of the pups that had climbed into my robes, but she howled angrily and seized my wrist.

"You can't kill them! They're just babies!" I looked into her angry face, and realized that she wasn't going to change her mind. I lowered my hand slowly, and she released me.

"How do you plan on saving them then?" I asked. She looked sheepish.

"I- I don't know. That's why I brought them to you, I thought you might know." I growled. I resented that stereotype. She kept looking up at me with those begging eyes and sighed. I could never tell her no when she gave me that look, and she knew it.

"Alright, alright, so maybe I do know." Rin's face lit up with delight, and I couldn't help but smile a little myself at her joy. "You'll have to go into the nearest village and get some milk, and something to feed it to them with, they'll be too weak to drink on their own. And you'll have to find something to carry them in and keep them warm, I'm not going to wait for weeks for them to learn to walk." Rin nodded, wide eyed. "And something to clip their toenails as well, They'll hurt themselves and each other if they get too long." Rin nodded and handed me the pup in her arms, then bounded off, shouting that she'd be back soon. I looked hopelessly at her retreating back, and then at the pups in my hands and robes and sighed.

There was a spluttering sound as Jaken seemed to regain the ability to make sounds, but not the ability to form coherent thoughts. He spluttered for a while, before I got tired of hearing it.

"Jaken, if you have something to say, then say it," I said coldly, looking in the direction that Rin had run off in, and absent mindedly stroking one of the pups.

"M-m-m-m-m-m-me Lord!" He cried at last, and I rolled my eyes. "What on earth has gotten into you! The Lord Sesshomaru that I know would never kiss a mortal!"

"The Lord Sesshomaru that you know still has no intention of explaining his actions to his underlings," I replied.

"B-but me Lord!" He replied.

"That's enough Jaken," I said, angrily. He was right, I knew he was right, and it angered me. The old Sesshomaru would never have even thought of kissing a mortal woman. The old Sesshomaru would never have even considered taking in a human girl, but I realized that I had begun to change from the moment I met her. It happened slowly. So gradually that I didn't even realize it was happening. I lifted one of the pups in my lap up by the scruff of the neck to inspect it. It was dark brown, and it had more of a domestic look to it, like a family pet had bred with a wild dog and created these pups. I set the thing back down and sighed. Rin had always had a soft spot for cute things.

A few hours later, she returned, with a large shoulder bag filled with the things I prescribed. I was surprised when she pulled out not one, but two bottles. I couldn't fathom how she meant to bottle feed two pups at once, but then the realization hit me.

"No," I said aloud, and she looked startled at my sudden speech.

"Oh come on! Please!" She pleaded. "It'll be so much faster if you help! And what if I feed them too much, or not enough, or not enough too often?" She rambled. Rin gave me that look again, and I felt my resolve crumbling.

"No," I said again, but I could hear the ascent in my voice.

"Lord Sesshomaru, Please! I need your help! I can't do it by myself, and I can't just let them die!" She sounded desperate now, and she grabbed my hand, holding it in both of hers. I sighed and looked down at the pups.

"Fine," I said, and she squealed in delight. She filled a bottle full of milk and handed it to me, then she filled another, and pulled one of the pups from my lap. We sat, feeding the animals together, until all four were full and asleep in our laps. Gently, she lifted them and placed them in the bag, careful not to wake them.

This became our morning and nightly ritual, sitting together and feeding the pups. We didn't kiss again at first, but something had definitely changed between us. Rin sat closer to me than she normally would have as we fed the dogs, and she would lean her head on my shoulder sometimes when she got tired. I was changing, too, I noticed. I would find myself staring at her as she gathered food, or played with the pups, which were now old enough to walk on their own, however Rin wouldn't let them walk all day. When they started lagging behind she'd pick them up and put them back in the bag. I tried to tell her that they would never get stronger if she kept babying them, but she insisted they needed rest to regain their strength.

It was late one night, and one of the pups was asleep on my lap. I moved to push it onto the ground so I could stand, but Rin, who was resting her head on my shoulder, grabbed my hand to stop me. I ignored the now familiar feeling that made itself known in my chest whenever Rin was near. I looked at her, annoyed.

"You can't wake her up! Look, she's dreaming!" She pointed at her, and she was right, the dog was growling softly and her legs were twitching. "She looks so cute, you can't wake her up!" I would have been angry if it hadn't been for the look in Rin's eyes, and the way the fire light lit her face, making her look bewitchingly beautiful. On an impulse, I leaned down and kissed her, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her close. She wrapped her arms around my neck and tangled her hands in my hair. We stayed intertwined like that for long enough for Jaken to get fed up, and to cough loudly several times before we broke apart.

I looked down at Rin breathing heavily, and realized that I wasn't breathing at all. I inhaled and exhaled slowly, waiting for the pounding of my heart to subside slightly. Rin grinned up at me, and then laid her head on my shoulder again, but this time she wrapped her arms around me and snuggled up close to me. I inhaled sharply, but didn't move away. So much for my heart settling down, it was going wild now, telling me to do all sorts of things, from, _kiss her again, _to, _make her yours, now. _I gulped and ignored those voices.

Eventually Rin fell asleep like that, leaving me even more trapped than before, not that I would have wanted to move anyway. I glanced across the fire at Jaken, who was determinedly avoiding my gaze. I knew he didn't approve of my relationship with Rin, but I didn't care. I knew that the old me would have killed Rin just for being human, but I didn't care about that either. I sat with my arms wrapped around her until morning, when she woke up and scolded me for letting her sleep so late.


End file.
